Rescue Your Heart

You know those times when you feel like the pain, the hurt hits you right in the chest; like a boulder is sitting in your heart? The weight of the world, your personal corner of it or the entirety of it can feel so overwhelming.

Maybe you have experienced a loss, or have been watching the news, had tragedy in your community, in your home or feel the heaviness of upcoming challenges and worries; whatever your personal hurt is right now; feel seen, not alone and may I offer some steps to care for yourself and find some relief.

1. Acknowledge and allow the feeling of all the feelings; including the anger, fear and deep sadness; especially those. Those feelings need to be seen and expressed to process them. If it feels like too much to acknowledge that alone, ask for a trusted soul to sit with you. (even your pet can offer comfort when feelings are expressed)

2. Find what works for you to process. Where do you feel the most comfort and at home with yourself? is it by water? trees? your bed? a bath? Once you have decided where, decide what. What modality (or modalities) give you the most release? If you are unsure, try a couple or ask yourself how you expressed/processed feelings when you were younger? Did you run to a swing? climb under your covers? pet a dog? draw ? I suggest an out (only after you have actually acknowledged and felt the feelings). I urge you not to rush to get to step two and it's okay if they don't happen on the same day or set of hours. An out might be a walk or workout, a free writing session (where you are not critiquing your words, just getting them on the paper), a talk with a trusted person, an art project that you do freely without expected outcomes, a chest/heart center stretch, a meditation or yoga to center and get into your body; I love a good barefoot walk in my grass or at a park, a good cry......yes I know you did that in step one most likely but if the tears are still, let them escape.

3. Now, REST!!! please don't get through step one and two and rush off to work or doing chores or taking care of others, this is YOUR TIME...... if you are now yelling, "Kellie I don't have any time!" MAKE IT!! I say this lovingly because I know from my own and hundreds of others I have worked with that not taking the time will cost you. It may not cost you right now, but it will catch up to you. Again, these steps do not have to happen all at once .... but please give yourself step 2 and 3 together so that the resting can happen.

4. Assess; check in with yourself. Do an internal scan of your body, notice where there is tension and then release it. Notice what and where you might still have some heavy feelings; ask what they need. It has helped me to ask myself like I am asking the little girl Kellie, I have more compassion with myself that way. Do not rush the assessment part either, this is important time with yourself.

5. Plan FUN!!! yep, make a plan for fun; with yourself or with someone you feel safe to have fun with. Make a plan and then get to having fun. okay......hold on!! no I am not talking about a tropical vacation, although I am not not talking about that if you can do it. I am talking about dancing, laughing, going swimming, going for a drive, starting a Fun project, playing a game, coloring, visiting a museum, exploring an area in your community, redecorating or reorganizing your living space (not fun? okay well sometimes that feels fun for me), Play music that makes you feel alive, have sex with or without a partner......yep I went there, we're adults it's okay. Whatever [safe] fun is for you...do that! If you are a serious one, avoid the urge to skip this step; it will feel awkward, that's okay, do it more so it doesn't feel as uncomfortable in the future.

   
   

Look the goal here is to be with, alongside and experience with your body/mind working together. Often we will push things down and deal with it or more likely not until it comes ready to deal with us, and never at a convenient time with a lash out , panic attack, sore throat, back ache or illness. So many have been trained to not feel or acknowledge our feelings that we walk around disassociated and then wonder why we have a pain in our chest or feel so angry.

I am asking you to slow down, notice and ask yourself "what do I need?", "what am I feeling right now?" and then listen and feel for the answer. Trust the answer, if you have taken the time to really center and be connected to yourself, yourself will not betray you!

XO, Kel

This is for coaching and educational purposes only. If you are in crisis or need mental health support; please get support from your closest crisis center or a trusted therapist.